Vegeta and the Badfic
by Proton Squirrel
Summary: Badfic parody. Vegeta teams up with Cell to fight the DBZverse's greatest enemy yet - the Badfic plaguing their FFNet section! Oneshot.


The middle part of this story is typical of the drivel you find in some fan sections i.e. _Death Note_ and _Harry Potter_. If you write any crap like this then go to your nearest brain transplant station and get a new one. You are a TARD!!11!!1!!

Vegeta and the Badfic

Once upon a time, there was a nasty little Saiyan called Vegeta, who was currently kicking the crap out of a very weak Cell. 'BWACK' went Vegeta's foot as it collided with unfortunate Cell's head, causing it (and his body) to fly into a mountain at an incredibly high speed. Vegeta raised his arm and yelled at an annoyingly loud volume, "Super Vegeta's Big Bang Attack!"

The blast sped towards Cell as he crashed into the mountain. Cell noticed the blast at the last moment and quickly evaded, blasting his arm off in the process. As he regained his footing, a powerful punch from the Saiyan's super powerful fist collided with his chest, causing him to double over in pain. As he struggled to stand up, Vegeta laughed at his plight and said in mocking tone "You don't stand a chance against me! Kill yourself now!"

"Damn!" Cell cried out in anguish. "If only I could reach my perfect form!"

"So you say!" Vegeta mocked, "Go ahead, I won't… Huh?" The cocky Saiyan was cut off in mid-sentence because just at that moment a suspicious-looking inter-dimensional wormhole appeared. "What is this?" Vegeta murmured, eyeing Cell like he was a smelly sausage.

"Boy, taht ws a carp simile," commented Cell. "Wait," he said "what's rong wit mi Gramar. i spelt lods of wrds rong."

"It seems this interdimenshional wormhole is a pure esscence of Badfic, prepare yourself Cell. We don't know wht cud come out of it!" Vegeta stated warningly.

Suddenly the portal changed from a purply yellow to an orangey white.

"What!" cried Cell. "They've made up colours. What a shame to the English language!" he said, apparently developing an immunity to the Badfic essence.

"Joy!" stated Vegeta "A deus ex machina. Just what we need."

Just then, from out of the portal popped a lady. She was called Super Angel Harpy Git. She wore very tight clingy clothes and had size 86758Z boobs. She had the power of 27654 elephants… no 100,000… no 1million Vegatas. She was so fit, that she could kill people by taking her clothes off. She had Auburn hair… no Orange… purple… hair that could change colour when she wanted it to. She could also slice bagels.

"Cum on then n00bs!" she yelled at an annoyingly loud volume. "I will pwn u!11111!!onehundredandeleven!!"

"OMG!" yelled Vegeta. "What an annoyingly-long description, and just what we need – an OC. This is going to be very hairy from here on."

"What like your mums legs" said Cell, unaware of his lack of punctuation in his last sentence.

Suddenly, Super Angel Harpy Git flew towards them at a very high speed which was so fst tht it pwned Veg an Cell autimaticLY.

"OMG! No wai!" cried Veg. "We wur pwned autymatically!"

"We don't stan a chnce!" cried Cell. "if I can transfoorm into mi final form I can kill her an the badfic essence in one. Then Cell transformed, leaving a large chunk of this story out.

"Anyway," Cell said, obviously a bit peeved that the author had ignored his main bit in the DBZ storyline, "I need 10 minutes to charge up my energy, hold Super angel harpy Git bACK until then."

"K" Veg said, strangely obedient about it. He powered up into SSJ 652 which the author obviously made up and fired a blast at Super Angel Harpy Cool. (What!? When'd the name change?) The blast hit her but because she was so uber cool it did nothing.

"U can't hurt mi." she laughed mockingly "u will lose so I'm goin' ta summon sum Minions"

Sddenly from out of the portal came the entire cast of Naruto."OMG" cried Vegeta. "A crossover, how original!" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Then the uber cool Sasuke got blown to bits by Vegeta 'cause he's an emo mess. The rest of the cast followed suit and were all blown to bits. Suddenly Cell screamed: "It's ready, out of the way. This is what you did to the good Fanfic section such as _Death Note_ and _Naruto_!!" He launched the blast. It sped towards the Badfic essence. It just so happened that Vegatea was in the way. At the last moment he dodged and the screaming ball of energy struck the Badfic essence and destroyed it, sucking Super Angel Harpy GIT!! into the warp along with the essence."I'll pwn u next time!!11onehundredandeightytwo!" she cried as she was sucked into the void. Then there was nothing. The sky returned to normal and their speech returned.

"Ah, at last, a new paragraph!" sighed Cell, with an air of happiness in his voice. "That's one blight on the English language removed!".

"At last we can relax. There's only one thing more evil than villains and that's bad grammar!" stated Vegeta.

"On second thoughts, I'll be a good guy now!" said Cell in a surprised tone "But I'd watch out Vegeta, there's probably going to be another 82 sequels and 8 trilogies as far as Badfics go!"

* * *

And there you have it! Hopefully you've been convinced to stop writing crap like some parts in this story and stop writing crap about your OCs which no wants to hear about. OCs are good when they're not uber powerful like Super Angel Harpy Git so make some normal ones. Also don't use too many of them or I will hunt you down and make you swallow a grammar book!


End file.
